langavitleysa...

l o n g n o n s e n s e

I've got a friend who likes showering. She showers up to 3 times a day. Sometimes quite undeliberately. Sometimes she even showers in milk and coffee. If we count the times she does that, we're up to 4-5 times a day. I like showering too. Only once a day though. There may be about a billion dysfunctional characters in my (neighbour)hood, but now I've got a very functional bath with a very able shower, I am happy. Which is something that is not true of my baby these days. My baby had a shower. In red wine. My mum, of all people, decided to give it a shower. Well, not so much decided to as just happened to. Serves me right to get her drunk. So my baby drowned. For those of you who don't know, my baby is what connects me to the outside world. My umbilical cord, if you like. My laptop. And sadly, I feel old. Too old to throw a tantrum and demand a new one. So here I am, sitting with a borrowed baby, in my new living room, writing these lines. I had envisaged myself, sitting in my room, the soft light from the screen flattering my complexion, enhancing my cheekbones, casting dramatic shadows on the white washed walls, while I tap away, Carrie Bradshaw style (ahem... CB gone bankrupt and only left with a meager collection of 20 pairs of shoes). Mental note: must go shopping. Ooh, almost forgot. I did go shopping. Sweet Spikey has Little Portia permanently in London now, so we set off from N10 into town, me co-piloting and almost not getting us lost (no wandering into bus lanes this time). After having found a parking spot (iz a long ting), we went into the shop, skinny jeans on the wish list. Found the perfect pair, tried on a size 29. Hmmm... not bad. The shop assistant looks at me, not happy. Hmmm... what size is this? I get nervous, eeehhh 29 I think... Hmmm... wait a second... Comes back with another pair - Here, try this... How embarrassing, I thought they fitted and here he is, with a bigger size... oh... waitaminute... size 28! How am I going to squeeze into that!!! Take a deep breath, go into the fitting room again. I am so gonna do this. Puuuull them up, force them shut, there! I can now officially not breathe. Stagger out, shop assistant goes yes! much better!!! So I buy them. I may be old, but I'm nowhere near grown up, if someone says I can fit a 28, I bloody buy the 28. thankyouverymuch!
I haven't written in a while, but I've been thinking about it a bit. Like, I want to do an experiment. I've read that Britney Spears is the most googled girl in the world, so I thought I'd put her name in here - just to see how many people get lost and end up in here. I wonder who's the most googled man in the world... Any suggestions?
Anyway, this is becoming a long ting, so I'll end it for now. Got to find a flatmate. It's a tricky ting to get people to move to Crack Street...
Oh, by the way... some new links over there to the left... anyone know how to put in new links without everything starting to look so messy?