Reflections

On not drinking: Interesting. Weird experience to have an hour long conversation with someone, who, the day after, asks: "what was I saying to you yesterday? Hope I didn't embarrass myself". God, it's usually me saying that!

On taking drugs: Like I said to my friend Tootsie: "This would never have happened had I been drinking."

Well then, that says it all, don't it?

right........ easter weekend

hmmm... where to start... let's try the beginning:

Thursday night at the pub with work, then into town to meet spikey, go to a restaurant, good food, lotsa wine - good. So far, so good. Right. Oh, hang on, forgot something...

Thursday morning at the Department of Genitourinary Medicine... so far, so very not good. Get a pack of antibiotics, told not to drink alcohol for 5 days. Right. As of tomorrow.

Now. Late Thursday night trying to find my keys in my rather large bag (good when I need to bring an extra pair of shoes or other items of clothing along with me - what! a girl can't always know in the morning what she wants to wear in the evening!). Right. Keys not there and the oh so very yummie (who, by the way, is very cool about the you know what) standing right here... hmmm... what to do? Well, nothing to do but break in. So that's what I do. Alarmingly easy. Mental note - eeehh... remember to do something about that...

Friday spent recovering, start taking my pills, two in morning, two in evening. Go see a movie, spend the night at spikey's. So far, no disasters. Oh, unless you'd call spending the night at a new guy's studio flat when his cousin is visiting and sleeping on the sofa a disaster. I'd call it weird. Definately. Did I mention I'm almost thirty?

Saturday (once again). Apparently I'm going to meet his friends today. Actually, my plan was to play tourist over easter, you know, see the sights, go to museums and all that, but hey... So we go to the pub, watch the game (yes!), drink a few pints... of lemonade, oh yes, mad stuff! Now meeting a guy's friends is always tricky. Not being allowed to drink makes it worse. fact. Now these are a bunch of pretty laid back people, which makes it not so bad. So far, so good. Now he's been talking about this drug (yes!), MD (yes!), which is supposed to be really good (where is this going???)
>>>fast forward>>>
The guys are jamming in the kitchen and I wonder if my head is funny 'cause of the class B smoke or the class A drug... anyway, think I better sit down. In a bit. A girl comes up and says something to me. I answer. I think. Notify my guy that I'm going to sit down because my head is funny. Go to the bathroom. Have to remove a mirror from the sink to wash my hands. My eyes are funny. Or is it my sight that is funny... anyway, better sit down again. We leave the party (but not before spikey asks: "will you be my girlfriend?" and I wonder why I wasn't invited to this kind of parties when I was fifteen, or maybe I went to sleep and slept for fifteen years and only just got up and just didn't realise that I'm not at all twenty-nine but fourteen and this is sooo cool but still a bit scary and I wonder if mum and dad will find out and wait till I tell the girls at school they'll be so jealous and... no). The night is almost over, but not till I manage to utter the words: "chicken good - yeah".

The rest of the weekend goes up in smoke, mostly at my place and then it's tuesday and we all go back to work.

saturday

Open one eyelid. Close mouth. Roll over. Oh. Hello yummie... er, I mean...(sinking feeling in gut)... No! My god!
Now someone better get their ass back from fjarskanistan REAL FAST or this could get embarrassing. Ok. What to do? There must be a way of finding out. But let's look at things rationally, get our priorities right. So. A bit of morning glory. Right. Done (by the way - WOW!). Now what. "Are you hungry?" How the hell is that going to help! Tease him a bit " My my, young man, 26, eh!" He says he's 27. But in a good way, mabe even joking. How would I know, somehow my conversational skills tend to leave me from time to time. They might be having an affair with my memory. I should rent out the extra space in my head: dark and dingy space to let for weekends only (occational vacancies at other times), ideal for city breaks, guaranteed good fun, will take no responsibility for bodily harm, starvation or inexplicable aches and paines. But for now I'm on my own.
Did I mention that I'm lucky? Mr yummie here needs to do a bit of paperwork, real quick, if that's ok. Just borrow the www for a coupla minutes. Hehe, where are my glasses, this is too good to be true. It's all down to eyesight now, good old basic hardware stuff. Spikey! That's it, now I remember (sort of), phew.

The door to nr 214 open, a man and a woman step out. They look at each other and smile, a certain cheekyness in their eyes. They head up the street, the sun warms their aching heads, somewhere not far away music is playing.

...and how can I get there

it was a beutiful early spring morning. the air was fresh but you could feel the warmth in the southern breeze. the door to no. 214 opens, a woman steps out, looks to the sky and smiles. it's going to be a good day. with a spring in her step, she heads for the bus stop, smiling at the school children running in the opposite direction.

amazing how much the weather can affect your mood, she thinks to herself. work seems but a childs play, specially when you spend most of your time e-mailing friends to plan the evening ahead, and how convenient that the boss needed to pop out for a few hours just before the lunch break.

"hello hello", she sais with laughter in her voice," I'm on my way to the lounge, see you guys in half an hour". watches the light fade as she descends the escalator, takes in the familiar smells of the underground and thinks: "it's going to be a good night".

one by one, they arrive, kisses are exchanged, the usual chit chat, beers are fetched, music fills the air, the conversation grows louder. beers are fetched. the music grows louder. off to the bar, beers are accepted as tokens of affection, she borrows a hat, gets a bit lost but is found by way of gsm, who's this, spikey! hello spikey, spills her beer, now where is that whotsername, well well well, she found herself a kok, er, sorry, a chef, samesame, now where's my beer, ah, on the floor, see, I'm fully coherent, now where did that 24 year old go and how did you manage to age 2 years so quickly, you're yummie, eh sorry, spikey, forgive my memory, it's on holiday, yeah, think it's gone to fjarskanistan, heard it's good there, so, my young knight, where's your black horse and how can I get there...

!

ok guys, you don't need me anymore. just join an internet dating service - it's hilarious and good for the soul.

ha!

I've got 23 new messages on my internet dating account and 15 guys have added me to their favorites. Just thought I'd tell you. oops, I was supposed to be making YOU feel good about yourselves... well, mabe the fact that I've got an internet dating account could do that for you. And you should see some of the guys, haha! Very entertaining actually.

hello it's my new blog :)

sooooo, what to call my blog... hmmm... first thing that popped into my mind was something like: skitzophrenicpsychobitch. A bit too revealing perhaps. Not something I'd put in my internet dating profile. And really, I'm a sweetie. Really. Mhmm... Next good idea: shoeshe. ha! pathetic. Time to turn to my nearest dearest fellow skitzophrenicpsychobitch: mizzzzz b-bird. Sharp as a shark she suggested the perfect name: scarpa! Of course!!! I won't tell you why it's so right just yet. I'm sure you'll find out sooner or later.
Anyway, luv to you all, hope I'll be able to make you feel good about yourselves with my stories of bridget-stunts, moments of weakness, moments of megalomania and other quality characteristics. Basically stories of my fab life in London.