Dear Diary...

confessions of a fat frustrated lady...

Right, the weekend... a welcome break from the hectic work week. Couldn't wait to relax for a couple of days, de-stress. Yeah. Went to see the Danish lot after work for good-bye and merry christmas drinks. Spikey didn't come 'cause he wasn't in the mood for going out (tough day). Fine. So I travelled the 1 1/2 hours it takes to get me to his. Found him a bit more than tipsy at a mate's place. He had to work Saturday so I went into town to finish off my christmas shopping. Sort of ended up just buying clothes for myself (pretty much needed by now, not much that fits me anymore). Decided to take all that stuff home, as the bags were getting quite heavy and I'm not really allowed to carry heavy stuff. The plan was to then go back into town and shop for some presents. Got on the tube - this is where a significant milestone in the pregnancy took place: a woman offered me her seat! Oh dear!!! Got to Crack Town, went to the supermarket. Shop assistant goes "Hi how are you, baby kicking?" DEAR ME!!! Dump the stuff at home, have a quick snack and head out the door. Destination Knightsbridge. Make it to H&M, look around but suddenly feel tired. Very tired... head back home, this time no one offers me a seat. Great! (You see where this is going? Someone is about to get pissed off.) Didn't see Spikey that evening either, he went partying. Asked if I wanted to come. No thanks. Tired remember? Pregnant remember? Decided to meet up and finish the christmas shopping the day after. Called him on Sunday morning, somehow I ended up going up to his end of town, he picked me up at the station and we headed to a "nearby" shopping center. A SHOPPING CENTER my god... obviously not my choice, but there seems to be a problem with us doing stuff that's convenient for me. Convenient for who then? Well guess. Spent about an hour in the car (heating is working again, thank god), Spikey seemed surprised that there was so much traffic on a Sunday. Yes, it is very surprising that there is heavy traffic towards a big shopping center the last Sunday before christmas. Got there in the end, finished my christmas shopping after a hang over pizza at the hut. Yeah hang over for some. Finally ended up going to mine - well it was convenient for a certain special someone that needed to be somewhere south of London early Monday morning... well well... What day is it to day, Tuesday? Yeah I think so, been working so hard that it feels like it should be Friday next year already. Well, another frustrating day for Spikey on Monday, matters south of London went a bit @%$*&"£&% if you see what i mean, and I had to get to work this morning at about 7 o'clock, so again, no luvin and huggin and squeesin all night... Spent about 11 hours at work today, hoped hoped hoped that Spikey would come down to mine tonight. But no, but I could come to his...! Very funny. You see me laughing? Didn't think so... Tired remember? Pregnant remember? Did I really write last week that we would be spending considerably more time south of the river...? My god, was I delirious??? Or just gullible?
On the other hand, the source of all his frustrating days lately is that he has been going through a lot of trouble, getting his passport sorted so that he can come to the Klake with me for christmas. Even had to fork out 500 pounds to get a bloody travel document... or something, I really haven't got my head round all the procedures people born outside of the E-club have to go through, amazing... mad! I would go mad. But hey, wait a minute... he's not getting his passport sorted for me! And I am under the impression that he wants to spend christmas with me, so surely he's doing all that for himself? One could hope.
But when we're together, he's the loveliest lovely luv and I can't resist him. Have I acquired some sort of syndrome, I don't know, APSDS (acquired personality strenght deficiency syndrome), only found in women in love??? Is it such a bad thing? How do I deal with it? Dear Diary, what should I do?
Anyway, gotta sort out a mountain of laundry and do a bit of tidying before going away, that's an exiting evening ahead of me. Hmmm... it's just that I'm sitting here, getting more and more irritated... think it's time to make a phone call, get some truths of my chest... oh dear, to be continued...

yummy

You will be pleased to hear that today I'm wearing brown leather stack heeled (4 inch) boots, very cool skinny jeans, Stella McCartney T-shirt and cool vintage plastic pearls, AND my hair looks nice... I'm a yummy mummy!!!! Not wearing any make-up though, my mascara is at Spikey's...

A tip to all y'pregnant ladies out there, if you want to keep wearing your normal jeans, there is a trick: Put an elastic (like a hair band) through the zipper tip, pull it through the button-hole and then wrap it around the button. Then all it takes is a long jumper or a T-shirt (Stella McCartney is brill for this - I AM talking about her H&M range).

Surprise!

We're half way through this month, and my account is still in plus!!! I've still got 3 whole pounds before I hit zero...
To celebrate I went and cancelled my contact lens subscription. My my, we're getting streamlined. Very proud of myself.

Kicking about

Aaahh, just got back from swimming... yes that's me, the healthy soul in a fit body... yeah... See I'm so fit, that when I went out dancing last friday, I sort of had to take a few breaks every now and then, you know, to rub my sticky-out belly and drink a bit of water (just had a thought - it will be a while before I ever get a flat tummy... and my lifestyle is the healthiest ever!). Anyway, I've just realized how badly alchohol effects people's eyesight - or maybe all those guys that asked me to dance just felt sorry for the fat girl standing alone drinking water all night. I had to put up a strong case to some of them: "no sorry, I'm just taking a break, maybe a bit later, sorry, just a bit tired...". Stopped short of saying: "Us ladies that are 4 months pregnant need our rest...", or patting my tummy and saying "Baby says nooo...", and then coughing in their faces... would have loved to see the look on their faces though... or rather the backs of their heads more likely!
Slept in on Saturday, then went to Portobello market. I'd love to be like all those cool chicks in their trendy outfits: skinny jeans, stack-heeled leather boots, furry jackets, a cool cap... But since I'm always staying at Spikey's and am probably the most un-organized person in the world, all I can manage to throw in my bag on a Friday morning before going to work is some clean underwear and socks, my toiletry bag and maybe a jumper and a t-shirt... on a good day. Teamed with my work outfit, that these days consists of comfortable fairly loose clothes and flat shoes, it doesn't make for the hippest-chick laid-back weekend attire.
So on Sunday I decided it was time to get pissed off about the whole arrangement - funny how men sometimes don't see reason before someone actually spells it out for them. Anyway, good thing is that we will now be spending considerably more time south of the river, and we now seem to be able to have these conversations without screaming our heads off - maybe we're both from Earth after all! Poor kid (the one inside me) - destined to inherit our tempers. Speaking of the kid - he or she is definitely kicking about, poking around on the inside, and even Spikey got the chance to feel it on Sunday morning, half asleep though as I woke him screaming and shouting: "WHOA HEY WOW FEEL THIS, SPIKEY SPIKEY WAKE UP MAN WAKE UP!!!"
So all in all, a really good weekend :)

And a week later

it already feels too tight...