ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE

AT THE LUNATIC ASYLUM

I have just had the weirdest day ever. Hilarious. It all started after I had been doing some tidying up in our filing system on the computer. Everything has been so hectic the last couple of weeks, that things haven't been saved in the right places, under the right names, etc. Small stuff really, but I, the good girl, got in early and was sorting it out. When the others arrived at the office I told them what I had been up to, where the stuff was saved; everybody happy. Until. CRed turnes around and says: oh... oh... eh... have you been moving the files around?
I answer: yes, like I told you ten minutes ago
CR: well I don't like to critisize people... but...
me: well bring it on
CR: well that means I can't find anything now
me: but I told you where I put them...
This goes on and he gets all worked up about file names, locations, whatever, he basically doesn't have a clue what he's talking about, and I try to explain to him how the system works. He just won't listen to what I'm saying, whenever I try to answer he goes: no no, hear me out, you know, I am older than you and I have got, you know, slightly more experience than you blah blah blah... In the end I challenge him, say: look, let me ask you a question then; I start the question and on he goes again, talking rubbish. This is where I start losing it, say: look, I'm asking you a question; he goes: well I'm answering it; I go: YOU CAN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE QUESTION!!! Now he goes: what! what are you, twenty-two or something...What a fucking loser this guy is, I just say: Right, I'm not wasting my time on this bullshit; I turn away, put on my headphones and start working. Now he says: oh this is just typical female! BIG MISTAKE!!! I throw off my headphones, storm out of the room and just when I'm passing his desk I give him the finger and mouth: FUCK OFF!!! Luckily, one of the partners of the firm has overheard what was going on, asks if everything is all right, I say NO, he asks if I want to talk about it, I say YES... please; we sit down and I explain to him what went on, as calmly as I can when I´m shaking and shivering with anger. He of course agrees with me that this is completely unacceptable and says he'll have a word with him, I go out for a walk to cool down.
When I get back, CRed gets up, stands all straight and goes: I´m supposed to give you an apology, I was just being naughty, I´m like that you know, I've got daughters, I get in trouble with them as well, and my wife...
me: that has nothing to do with this
CR: yes I know, I was just teasing you, you know, I´m like that but I just think the filing blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
me: I´m not willing to discuss this with you, I think this needs to be dealt with at management level
CR: yes you're right, we need to all sit down and talk about this but I just, you know, I think the filing blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
And I can't believe I'm having this conversation, repeat myself: I´m not willing to discuss this with you, is that all right
CR: eh yes, but no, you know I am older than you and have got slightly more experience than you, and I just think the filing blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
I start explaining to him again what it's all about and still he won't hear me out, I say: listen... but on and on he goes, sorry fucker, and at this point I say: right, whatever, don't listen, put on my headphones again and turn to the computer, I've got work to do.

Now this is a pretty fucked up start to the day, wouldn't you say? Just wait.

A bit later I go to the toilet to have a wee. Oh no. Burning sensation, oh yes, it's bladder infection. Luckily, there is a walk-in clinic just around the corner from the office, I check it out in my lunch break, they open at 5 pm. I take off early to go there, fill out the forms, wait for my turn (can't believe my luck, I've got Vogue in my bag AND I've got time to read it!). The nurse, about fifty-ish with orange hair and a floral frock thingy on, calls me in, asks what she can do for me, I tell her I've got bladder infection.
Nurse: oh, I'm afraid we can't help you with that, you need to see your GP
Shit, going to see a GP in this country is no laughing matter. Or maybe that's exactly what it is, one big pathetic laughing matter. She sees my disappointment and starts asking questions:
nurse: are you sexually active?
me: yes
nurse: when did you last have sex?
me: on the weekend, er, on Sunday
nurse: was it with a new partner?
me: yes
nurse: did you use a condom?
me: no (god, why can't I ever spot a good opportunity to lie???)
nurse: don't you think that's a bit risky?
me: er, yes, er, but ehm, we do use condoms, er sometimes, uhm, but not always, and I know you can't rely on it but we're very careful...
nurse: what are you going to do if you're pregnant (WHAT! I'm not pregnant)
me: eh, don't know, eh, deal with it... or something
nurse: right, we can give you the tests for chlamidya, gonorrhea...
me: no no, that's not necsessary, I had that done a few weeks ago, all clear and I've only had this one partner since
nurse: that's good, now Sunday you say, was the last time you had sex
me: yes
nurse (looking at the clock): now it's to late for you to get emergency contraception... (WHAT! I'm not pregnant)
me: no no no, that's not... I don't need that, I'm not interested...
nurse: right, ok. Sunday you say...
me: yes
nurse: was it a particularly heavy session? (MAN! you couldn't make this shit up)
I give up, look at her and say: Yes! Can't even remember what she replied.
nurse: right, I'm sorry we can't help you with the bladder infection, you have to see your GP about that
me: do you think I'll be able to get an appointment tomorrow, it just seems so difficult to get a good service in this country
nurse (nods): Well they should keep one or two slots open for emergencies, if you go there and explain to them, hopefully they can help you (GREAT! hopefully they can help me)
She is a real sweetie though and in the end sends me home with a pot to pee in so that I can take it with me to the doctor's first thing.

Time to head home, go get my gym stuff, and I'm wondering if I should do the shopping before or after the gym. Walk up to the security guy in front of Sainsbury's and ask him when they're closing. He looks at me and answers: eeeehh, maaayyybeee 10 o'clock
me (feel hysteric giggles welling up inside me): what, maybe 10 o'clock? Or maaayybeee... whenever?
security guy: yes, or maaayyybeee 10 o'clock...
What can I do?! I walk away, hairwidths away from breaking into disbelieving hysterics, can somebody just turn the lights off and end this day, for crhist's sakes!!!!!!!!!

A DAY IN THE LIFE

AT THE OFFICE

Six o'clock the alarm rings, I have plans to be at work at seven. At six thirty I crawl from underneath duvet no1(req), duvet no2(req) and wool blanket(optional), pull off my granny Ella's hanknit woollen socks(req) and wrap the wool cardie(optional) tighter. Have a dysfunctional shower in my dysfunctional bath, no make up today (a "nice to have", but neatly placed in the "optional extra" category these days), jump into the nearest clean clothes and I'm off to work.
Stupid busdriver doesn't stop at the bus stop even though a dozen people are standing there waiting to get off. Just because no-one actually pressed the stop button, he just drives on. As if he doesn't know we all want to get off, it's by the bloody tube stop... stupid fffff...aaargh, too tired to get worked up about it. Right... to Nero's for my fix, savour the last five minutes before I unlock the gate, then the door, to the office. Get a few minutes to myself, then the boss walks in the door. I can almost hear it before I see him, I can definately see it on his face the moment he walks into the room... he's in one of his panicky moods... lucky me!
Things get so hectic that Tootsie has to resort to bidding good morning via e-mail, sometimes our only possible way of communication. Very useful for sharing our shock over Crazy Redface's and Dulldude's ways.
Sometime during the morning i discover my half full latte on my desk - ice cold. Fuck it, I need my coffee. Into the microwave it goes. Thank you very much.
At lunchtime I need to go home, this real estate guy is coming to look at the flat. Yep, the landlord is selling. Which means me and lady rubberduck have to move. Oh-nooo, I'm sooo gonna miss the woodlice in the bathroom, the non-existing central heating, the uncleanable kitchen... I could go on.
Back at work, the afternoon is as hectic as the morning. I take off early to go to my usual Tuesday lecture. Somewhere in between all this, there was a bit of outline/scheme design, a little feasibility study, lots of phonecalls (pathetic attempts to press the planners and miserable excuses to the client) and plenty of assurance to the boss: I have got matters under control. Anything to bring a smile to his little face.

back on track

Sooo, what's been going on since last time... let's see... this might be a good time to do a status check.

Men:
Still seeing Spikey and he's absolutely lovely - still taking it slowly and seeing where things go.
I never mentioned the others:
Well, there was Roller-boy... for about five and a half years. Still a good friend, which wasn't popular with Lunalatina, who he had to split up with in order to avoid getting married in a year's time. Well done, Roller boy :)
Then there was that new-years eve thing. Nothing to say about that but WORST SEX I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. And that's counting the drunken fumbling first few times. Well done, Aussie boy, you've shamed your country.
Actually, Disco-boy came before him, but as I told him I didn't want to see him again after a perfectly good date at the Tate, he doesn't really count 'till later. Why did I say that to him? See, according to my calculations, that should have made him well keen... guess I just forgot that he's not a woman! Shortly after new-year technology took matters into its own hands and dialled his number, which resulted in half a handful of visits to a posh part of town and ended in, well... me basically being told to go fuck myself... albeit a bit more politely, bless him and his excellent upbringing. Oh well, he's hot, but my god, don't he just know it!
Then there was Steadman. Met him at a cultural dinner. Sounds posh but wasn't. He was cute. I probably exchanged our numbers, typically I don't remember doing it, but magically this phonenumber appeared in my phonebook, and a few days later it called. So we went out. As I said to my friend Tootsie, he's nice looking and we had pleasant conversation. She said "sounds boring". We said "call Disco-Boy". I say "mistake". See this is where I pulled my biggest Bridget-stunt to this date. After having left a message on D-boy's answer phone (mistake number one), we leave the pub, head down the tube. Phone rings, it's him, I answer (mistake number two), start running up the escalator (mistake number three), shout "guess what I'm doing, I'm running up the escalator" laughing hysterically (mistake four through to one hundred), admit not being able to making it up (mistake 101), promise to call later. Call after I arrive at my stop, get invited to "come on and get some of that good sex" (honestly! it was just ok). I politely decline, and this is where he politely suggests I go home and fuck myself. Instead I have a Big Daddy Burger (mistake 102). Hmm... wonder if I'll hear from this guy again. No matter. There's Spikey. Yes yes oh yeah!

Work:
Crazy.

Social life:
Picking up, after a period of particularly heavy workload.

Domestic life:
The dishes are done and the laundry is hanging. Domestic bliss.

a good weekend?

I've been sitting here for an hour, trying to figure out what to write about this weekend. Hmmm... It was interesting. I'll have to get back to you on this, have to sleep on it some more. It was good. Yes it was. Although I had to work and there was a bit of a sad twist, it was good, in a way. I wonder where this will lead...